Scrutinizing Life

Leave it to Him

2006-09-12T01:18:00.000-07:00

Eyes closed, knees fold, head bowed down, fist clenched. Crouching in a dark corner mourning, covering her face to hide her shame, though informed that she's calling to a Person who sees her entire nakedness.

Noise is everywhere but she can't hear them. She feels so messy though she sees only suffocating darkness. Crying out loud but her tears refuse to fall. Oh how crowded her heart is! She yells but words don't come out.

A shadow is crowling to touch her heart, but the more she feels the caress the more she feels her wounds paining. Ouch! It is indeed painful and there's no way to cure its ache, for the wound is not visible.

Helpless, that's how she is. She even forgot to see her own beauty because of her misery. But with teary eyes she looks forward, hoping to get up, live her life, pursue her battle. She longs for strength but she couldn't find it within herself; so she spread her arms widely, preparing to let herself fall, longing that the strong arms of her Mighty Creator will not forsake her.

...pinklady0122 (September 12, 2006_1241

Ano kamo?

2006-09-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

Ang tao mahilig tumakas sa totoo at maglakbay sa mundo na siya lang ang tanging nakakakita, mundo na puno ng mga nabaon niyang pangarap, mundo na gusto niya lang ang masusunod.

Madali lang naman sanang mawala ang sakit kung matututo lang tayong tumanggap. Pero kahit alam mo na ang totoo masakit pa rin. May pagkakataon pala sa buhay ng tao na hindi mo kontrolado kahit ang sarili mo. May mga bagay na ayaw mong isipin pero naiisip mo pa rin.

Gusto mo ng realidad pero lumilipad pa rin ang isip mo sa imaginary mong mundo, at dahil sa hindi mo maabot ang mundong iyon nasasaktan ka tuloy. Kasalanan din natin minsan kaya nagiging malungkot tayo, pero sinong dapat na sisihin eh ayaw ngang sumunod ng puso natin sa sinasabi ng isip natin?

Nakakalito. Kahit nga ako hindi ko rin maipaliwanag. Meron palang hindi nagagamot ang pagtawa. Sabi nila "Laughter is the best medicine." Kung totoo ito, bakit hindi nito magamot ang lungkot at takot na nakapinta sa mata? Nakangiti nga ang labi pero umiiyak naman ang puso. Ano kaya yun?

Baliw ba ang tao kung ginagawa nila ito? Kung gayon, eh di baliw pala lahat tayo? Hindi naman sa ganun. Minsan lang gusto mong takasan kahit sandali ang lungkot. Pero babalik at babalik ka pa rin, mararamdaman at mararamdaman mo uli ang pait lalo na kapag mag-isa ka na.

Mahirap namang masanay ng may kasama kasi kapag natuto ka nang sumandal sa kanila at bigla ka nilang iiwan mabubuwal ka, baka mahirapan ka nang bumangon, o kaya naman habambuhay ka na lang nakadapa.

Pero nagtitiwala naman akong may mga taong tapat sa sinabi nila, hindi nga lang marami nun. May tao naman tapat sa sinabi niya sa isang panahon, pero after sometime tatalikod sa pangako niya. Sana hindi na lang sila nangangako, gawin na lang nila kung gusto nila.

Bakit ba marunong pa ako? Mahirap lang minsang tanggapin na may ganung tao, at may taong katulad ko. Hindi ko matanggap na may taong basta na lang mang-iiwan at hindi ko rin matanggap na pilit ko yung iniintindi kahit na hindi ko naman maintindihan.

Ang haba na nito pero hindi ko pa rin ma-point out kung ano ang gusto kong sabihin at hindi ko ma-define ang gusto kong i-relay sa inyo. Ako lang naman ang nakakaintindi ng sulat ko. Writer daw? Hilong talelong nga ako kung magsulat. Nakakatawa ano?

Tama na nga yan!

...pinklady0122 (September 6, 2006_1304)

A dream in my reverie

2006-09-04T05:24:00.000-07:00

In every lovely smile, I see a spark of sadness in the eye.

Sometimes we even deceive our selves pretending that we are happy. How pathetic man had been since then, but still we should be thankful. We were not created as beasts, we are humans.

God gives us the hint of happiness in this world, and we appreciate it by the power of great sadness. Tell me, how can you say you are happy when you haven't felt grief? We should appreciate sorrow for it shows us the bright color of happiness.

I can see its extended rays of light sparkling visibly in the dark. Yet sorrow is still in triumph. Let it be, at least for now. Time will come we will not feel grief anymore, so better savor all its bitter taste with great pleasure. Time will arrive we will capture sadness, we will conquer death; time will not limit us anymore, we will rule over time.

Teardrop will be nothing but a faded memory…

...pinklady0122 (August 31, 2006)

Life has to change

2006-09-04T05:18:00.000-07:00

"In this world, there is only one thing constant - change."

Though I see a half truth in this saying, part of me still believes in it. I guess it's true, almost everything in this world changes; they don't stay for what they are. They tend to be moved, they tend to vary.

So we cannot resist to remain ourselves acquainted into sudden changes. Sometimes a single word changes someone's feelings. A certain incident changes someone's life. An occurence destroys trust. A simple argument departs friends. One bullet vanishes life. Intimate relationships end with a simple goodbye.

Can't we stop change when it's going to hurt us?

However, we have to push through in our struggle to continue our journey in this life. We are travelers so it's inevitable to leave valuable things behind. In order to take another step, we have to turn our back. Shed a single teardrop as a token of respect for pain, then get up with full courage and strength to pursue and prevail.

...pinklady0122 (August 29, 2006_1705)